Top Searches

The whole point of writing in a weblog is to trick people into reading some nonsense when they thought they were going to gain valuable knowledge.  Blogs are the technological equivalent of a bear trap.  A friendly bear sits down at a computer searching for honey recipes and WHAM he accidentally clicks on a blog and gets sucked into hours of mindless reading, trapped in the toothy iron vice of imagination.

Just like my friend, Shane, people end up at my site while searching for the most interesting things.

  • “for a good time restroom stall – The Internet is a giant bathroom stall. No need to find new friends in a public restroom anymore!
  • “what is waze candy? – There are over 30 hits for waze and waze candy related searches.  Remember it is OK to break the law in order to collect waze candy.
  • “how to turn yourself dog – Not sure if they wanted to turn into a dog or if when a dog searches google they have to punctuate each search with “dog” in order to find relevant results (i.e.  “How to open door with mouth, dog”) The internet is very human biased and this dog was having trouble turning.
  • “let husband use credit card declined – His purchase at the hardware store wouldn’t go through after your shopping spree.  Good thing he wasn’t able to come home with that hammer!
  • “underwear with track suits? – Be careful not to get something that bunches up or shows lines. The internet has lots of other great tips.
  • “quick mud kids” – They are quick and hiding in puddles, waiting to strike at your pets.
  • “hot girls in sport bras playing field hockey” – I’m not sure which of my posts this goes to but if anyone figures it out let me know!
  • “what is it when you have a not thing on your leg” – it’s a transcendental void on your leg that is not really there, but something is there. Let me know if you’ve found it (or didn’t find it?)
  • “prank male underwear switch” – Half way through the day you realize “These aren’t my underwear!”
  • “subway blade in bread” – This is what happens if you ask for a footlong worth of meat on 6 inch bread.
  • “dog paying bills” – Beggin Strips aren’t free and it’s time the dog pulls his weight.
  • “why frito lay put air in the bag” – They are getting away with selling you air!
  • “compostable sun chips” – This search actually got one of my pictures, with photo credit, on a TEDx talk back in May.  This company, Ecovative Designs, makes biodegradable packing material from Mushrooms, rather than Styrofoam.  I talked to this Sam and we both agreed that the sunchips bag as a bad design and he tried to sell me papers on landfills.
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One thought on “Top Searches

  1. Pingback: Google Searches V « Is this thing on?

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